Going through a break up is something that everyone experiences at one time in their life or another. Going through a break up is hard because once you are in a relationship you allow yourself to connect with another person in a new way. You share your heart, your dreams, things you enjoy, and pieces of yourself that you do not share with everyone.
So when that person is no longer in your life it can be quite difficult to get enough over him or her and move on with your life. Many find themselves slipping into a depression or even worse when they have ended a relationship but this does not have to be the case. Each person that ends a relationship can move on and look for a better relationship and one that will fill their soul with happiness.
Every relationship has its faults, even the great ones, so training yourself to remember those bad times helps you get over the pain. Learning to be able to move on and being able to find your true love is something that can help you have the life you have always dreamed of. No matter how long you have been with someone, there can be light at end of the tunnel after a break up.
Going through a break up is a very hard time and can be confusing as well. To be able to move past some of these things you must be willing to think things through. Focus on the reasons for your break up, what went wrong, and how things ended. Really consider what was good and bad about the relationship and if the bad is something that you could have been happy dealing with for the rest of your life.
Many people who go through breakups become obsessive with their ex. They beat themselves up trying to pinpoint each and every reason that they had problems and focus on all of the things that they could have done differently. This obsession is something that will not help you so stop obsessing and learn to focus on yourself during this time.
If you were the one to end a relationship learn to stop doubting yourself. Self doubt and constantly questioning whether you did the right thing will only end up hurting you and causing you to feel depressed and upset. You can not move on if you are constantly focused on the past. Know that you made a decision and that it is likely that you were not wrong with the decision that you made.
One of the biggest mistakes that you can make when you are going through a break up is staying in the same place, being around your ex all of the time, and not having enough space for yourself. If you lived together, move out and find a new place to go. If you hung out together at many different places, go somewhere else. Being in places where you were with your ex all of the time is only going to make it harder for you to move past the relationship and get over him or her.
If you can get some distance in between the two of you. One of the easiest ways to get over a break up is to move to a new area. You will not have the constant reminders and will not have the chance of running into them all of the time. If you must stay in the same town, consider the other side of town or moving to a different neighborhood.
Coping skills are an important way of dealing with negative situations or difficult things in life. Learning how to cope with a break up is very important and something that can help you no matter how hard your break up is. Find new positive outlets to put your energy into. Focus on doing something that you love or learning a new hobby. You can get through a break up without using coping skills but coping skills will ease the transition from being in a relationship to being single immensely.
Hatred is one of the most damaging feelings that you can experience. Instead of allowing yourself to hate your ex banish hatred from your life. Removing hate will not only help you work through your feelings more easily but it will also help you to be able to maintain a more positive outlook on other areas of your life. Hate is something that you might think that you feel but if you do not allow hate in your life you will not feel it. The negative energy from hate can affect you in many different ways making it nearly impossible to completely move on from this relationship.
Most people who go through a break up do not want to be that annoying friend whining about how much they do not like the other person. They want to look like they are strong and avoid showing anyone, even their closest friends, their weakness. However by allowing your friends to see you as you really are you will be able to build stronger friendships and have help in getting over the breakup in the first place. Everyone knows that breakups, even with the worst people, hurt and by showing your friends this side of you they will be able to help remind you why this person was not right for you.
Get a new journal or a notebook and write down how you feel. Explore your real feelings not the feelings that you want to have. If you feel sad write about why you feel sad. Really explore these feelings to see if you are feeling sad because you really miss your ex or if the sadness is from missing out on something that you expected to happen. Many times we are more disappointed and saddened by the lack of success in a relationship or by the fact that we expected to be with this person for a long time or were looking forward to doing things with them. In most cases you will learn that you were not sad because of missing the person but missing out on the things that you wanted to have happen in life. Realize that if this were the right person it would not matter what you were doing with him or her because you would be happy doing anything, even cleaning toilets, together.
Take the time to write out a list of daily reminders. Remind yourself why you are great, things you love about yourself, and things that you want out of life. Make sure to include a small list of things you want out of a relationship and include those things that you could never have had with your ex. Choose to post this list where you will read it and also keep a small note card with you so you can review it if you start to feel down.
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