Many people are under the impression that in today’s world, manners really don’t matter anymore. We’re all too busy to worry about them anyway, right? However, the truth is, how you act and treat others really does have an effect on the way people see you. When you know that you have control over how people see you, then you can use this to your advantage by improving many areas of your own life.
You may believe that etiquette is simply a list of things to do and things not to do in order to look “proper.” Etiquette is actually principles that you can use to become more attractive to others. You can use the tips in this book in almost any life situation.
People love being around someone with manners, who is kind and makes others feel good simply by treating them with respect- the way they want to be treated. When you act this way, people will look for ways to be around you and would be willing to do whatever you asked of them.
You hold in your hands a book called “50 Things to Know about Modern Manners”- this is the modern approach that will allow you to have influence over others. You will see that etiquette is not simply a list of silly rules that you have to memorize and follow- it is actually a way of life.
1. Schedule Time with Your Loved One.
Just spend time together. Every night, my husband and I sit down and read a devotional book and a reading from the book of Psalms in the Bible. We also talk about things that need to be discussed- unless it’s something that will turn into a fight (then we table it for later on). The thing to keep in mind is that you shouldn’t let other things get in the way of spending time with your family- they are the most important relationship in your life.
2. Say Thank You Often.
When you actually go out of your way to thank someone for something that you’d typically take for granted (clean dishes, clean laundry, etc), it helps to assure them that they are appreciated and their work is being acknowledged. The core of good relationship etiquette is making sure that everyone is acknowledged and appreciated for what they do.
3. Make Pleasant Conversation.
Often, the conversations in a family are full of frustration and anger- after all, you can let your anger out at home and your family will still love you, right? However, you should learn how to speak in a nicer tone to those who live with you and see you day in and day out. Also, if you do blow up, make sure that you don’t wait too long to apologize to them. Then, make sure that you avoid doing it again and make extra effort to be nice to them.
4. Perform Random Acts of Kindness.
We hear about random acts of kindness being performed for strangers- the whole “Pay It Forward” movement is a great example. This is a wonderful thing to do, but think about it- why not be nice to those people who you are the closest to? When you do nice things at home, life will be much more peaceful and pleasant and you’ll see that simple acts of kindness will create a domino effect- others will want to return (and pass on) the kindness.
4. Be a Good Example.
As a parent, you can bark orders at your children all day long- but if your attitude is “do as I say, not as I do,” then your orders are falling on deaf ears. When you tell your children to be nice, to use their “magic” words (please, thank you, you’re welcome), but you don’t use them- they’re getting mixed signals, which sends them into misbehavior. In today’s society, with cell phone usage at an all-time high, if you’re talking or messaging on yours at dinner, your teens are not likely to listen to you when you tell them to put theirs up. Bottom line- never expect anything from your children that you’re not doing when it’s just you and them.
5. Take Time to Talk and Listen to Your Spouse.
When it comes to marital relationships, nothing is more heartbreaking than when communication begins to break down. Communication is a two way street- you must talk and listen. Though you may be tempted to simply tune out your spouse, actually listening might teach you a thing or two and revive your marriage. Talking about things that are happening in the world, or in your lives can get the conversation flowing. Keep in mind that you don’t always have to be in agreement about everything. Debate can be fun- as long as it’s not mean-spirited.
6. Don’t Lose Who You Are.
When you’re in a relationship- no matter what that relationship is- you should always remember to be yourself. This means that you will need to love yourself first and foremost and make sure that you’re ready to be out in the dating world before you take that leap. Make sure that you have a very strong sense of self-worth and self-esteem, as well as independence.
7. Make Sure Every Date is Fun.
Making sure that your date is happy makes you feel good and is one of the very first signs of attractions. Studies have proven that when you take someone out on a date, one of the most important things to determine the success of the date is that everyone had fun. So, think about some fun things to do in your area- also considering what your date would enjoy. For example, if she prefers to be indoors, a day at the shooting range may not be up her alley.
8. Be Sure to Always Communicate Clearly.
Without a strong sense of communication, it is nearly impossible to have a healthy relationship. Communication is the bridge between partners, and helps them to create a middle ground where they can come together and build intimacy and love. Without having clear communication, two people may appear to be romantically connected, but deep down are not and will be unable to move forward in the relationship.
9. Be a Strong Negotiator.
When clear communication isn’t enough to get your relationship through the tough times, strong negotiation skills come into play. In order to be sure to work through the issues that come in these circumstances, both partners must be willing and able to negotiate. When this is done with awareness of and respect for the other person, negotiation can be the key that unlocks your future together.
10. Nurture Your Relationship.
All relationships- especially dating ones- require lots of TLC in order to survive and thrive. Showing daily respect, appreciation, attentiveness, kindness, and reciprocity work together to show your partner that you do value and cherish them.
To read all 50 Tips purchase or borrow 50 Things to Know About Modern Manners: Etiquette is a Way Of Life from Amazon.