Technology is weaving its way into all areas of life, including meeting people and falling in love. The stigma against online dating is slowly, but surely, going away. There has never been a better time to look for love online.
Of course, meeting someone over the internet isn’t easy. Online dating can be awkward, exciting and terrifying all at once – but in the end, when you meet someone and it works out, it was worth the effort. If you are honest with yourself and others, you’ll find someone.
I hope that the tips in this book help you meet a wonderful person and fall in love. I met my significant other through online dating, and I want to share my experiences with everyone else. You can find love over the internet – so why wait?
1. Leave Shame At The Door
It’s 2014 now, but online dating is still a stigmatized way to meet a romantic partner. While it may feel “weird” or “desperate,” especially if people you know criticize online dating, that’s far from the truth. Online dating has become extremely common, so don’t worry what other people think. Focus on yourself and finding a partner. Never say things like “I feel stupid/ugly/lame being on here, but…” in your profile because you’re basically insulting yourself and whoever is reading it!
2. Spending Isn’t Necessary
I recommend trying out a free service like OKCupid before paying money to Match, eHarmony, or any other sites that aren’t free. As Christian Rudder of OKCupid explains, “Pay sites have a unique incentive to profit from their customers’ disappointment.” If you’re paying for a subscription, but not meeting anyone, you might keep the subscription going to eventually find someone. There’s the issue – you’re paying to not meet someone, because they only profit if you’re still subscribed. In addition to this, it’s hard to determine whether or not someone on a paid site is a full member or not. You may be messaging people who have basic accounts and can’t contact you back, essentially wasting time and maximizing the website’s profits.
3. Read Profiles, Don’t Just Look At Photos
A big mistake people make is messaging someone because they look good. Now, I understand that looks can be of varying degrees of importance, but they should never be the sole reason why you contact someone. It is obvious when someone has not read your profile. The best way to avoid this is to, quite simply, read people’s profiles. If you really want to message someone, find something in their profile that sticks out to you and ask them about it. Alternatively, if there’s something not mentioned that you’re interested in knowing (favorite kinds of movies, best vacation, or whatever else you can think of), that’s fine, too. All that matters is showing that you are actually interested in this person beyond their profile picture.
4. Tell The Truth
Adults probably taught you when you were little that lying is bad, but it seems like many people who online date are dishonest. While this may be true, it doesn’t mean you should be dishonest in your profile. Don’t say you’re a hopeless romantic if you hate traditional romance, that you’re a cuddler if you dislike being touchy-feely, or that you’re a sports fanatic if you’ve never even watched a game. By being dishonest about who you are, you’re only hurting your chances of finding someone who’s compatible with you.
5. Be Cautious
So, you’re telling the truth in your profile, but is everyone else? Not necessarily. That’s why you need to be cautious when you’re meeting new people online. Dating site scams are numerous – the US embassy to Russia gets reports every day about people scammed by Russian singles, but it can happen on any sites with any nationalities of people. Some warning signs include language or grammar inconsistencies, sob stories (especially ones involving money), messages so generic they could be sent to anyone, photos that seem too good to be true – and ultimately, anything involving money. There are reports of people losing upwards of half a million dollars on dating sites.
6. Send Messages Unique To Each Person
Some online daters copy and paste a message to many people in the hopes that someone will respond. This isn’t going to work if you are truly looking for a relationship. The best messages are ones with more substance than “You’re beautiful!” or “What’s up?” Be sure to make it clear you read their profile.
7. Be Friendly
There’s no need to be rude, even if you’re not interested in someone. Being friendly puts you in a positive mindset, and that’s important when you’re looking for love. Also, there’s no reason to rule out friendship, even if you aren’t interested in a relationship with someone. There are people I met on OK Cupid that I still chat with because they’re interesting, friendly people.
8. Know Your Dealbreakers
Everyone has them, even if they aren’t fully aware of them. You might want to get married someday or have kids, or maybe you’re certain you never want to get married or have kids. Religion might be most important in your life – or you are only interested in dating other atheists. Whatever your deal breakers are, know them and keep them in mind while you’re creating your profile and looking for people to message.
9. Trash Your “Wishlist”
This may seem contradictory to the last point, but there’s a fine line between having one or two deal breakers and having a lengthy checklist of must-haves in a partner. No one is perfect. If you are getting caught up in little details that don’t fit into your idea of a perfect partner, you’re going to end up unhappy.
10. Be Open To Dating Offline, Too
Online dating can be great, but don’t forget that you might just meet someone in your day-to-day life. Don’t let a great person pass you by because you’re too caught up in online dating. Maybe you’re chatting every day with someone – that’s great, but you’re not in a relationship with them. You shouldn’t feel tied down to someone, especially if you’ve never even met them.
To read all 50 Tips please view the book on Amazon that is available for free with Amazon Prime. In the book you will find all 50 Things to Know and other resources.